HAIR TODAY, GONE TOMORROW, APPRECIATED LATER

Nice try ladies and gentleman…

To quote the one rock critic…”you can’t kill rock and roll”, but to quote me…”try as you may, you failed once again”

For whatever reason I got tagged that “hair metal” guy, while oddly enough, I wasn’t the target market of that music.  Did I enjoy it?  You better fucking believe I did.  Did I think some of the fashion and stage schtick would run its course?  How could you not.  Did I cop the fashion of spandex, proofed hair with  a splash of lipstick and make-up?  Fuck no, I was the fat guy, but I envied those that could pull it off.  At the time, did I fit in with the fans that showed up at shows?  Not “look” wise, but certainly one who loved the vibe and the music.

Did I call it “hair metal”?  Not once, unless it was to reference the music to a smug music snob.  The problem with that term was that it described everything but the music.  That period of time was the apex for labels and the suits that ran them, took a cookie cutter approach to keep pushing and selling it.  You could call those ‘suits’ idiots, but they knew that they had to jump on that bandwagon to make a fast buck, but a “fast buck” that lasted a lot longer than they anticipated.  The one thing they knew was, there was a shelf life to it, problem was they didn’t want the artists themselves to develop outside of the Aqua Net fog.

The music the bands were putting out was nothing more than a harder-edged pop rock; heavy on hooks, guitar riffs, with catchy choruses.   This wasn’t anything new to the musical world, hell, The Beatles started out as a pop boy band for Christ’s sake.  Yet somehow, they and others that followed in the moptop’s footprints were allowed to mature without having the window slam down on them.  Yet, the MTV darlings of 80’s rock had their entire world shut down and left to die on the vine with a zero-point-zero chance of getting airplay if they themselves produced a “Sgt. Pepper’s” like album. 

Was it just a culture shift or a generation thing that the labels with the help of radio killed the goose that was laying golden eggs by the minute or was it more?  How about the writing on the wall was already seen, loud and clear.  No, it wasn’t this new “grunge” music taking over rock’s airwaves, it was the younger brother and sisters of the “rock” family finding rap and hip/hop.  Which I’m not convinced that rock labels looked at like that was nothing more than a disco-fad for the 90’s generation.

The labels, critics, rock radio, all looked at those 80’s bands as pariah’s who were destined to lose, just in case the bands had even a breath to hit success, they were destroyed.  Almost any band that had success in the 80s rock/hard rock scene had, labels weren’t taking the gamble, so they changed decks.  They knew there would be pushback from the fans who grew up with the likes of a Poison, Motley Crue, Ratt, Warrant and others, but the risk and reward weren’t worth taking a chance.  They already had to deal with rap music becoming a Godzilla-like beast taking over the suburban kid siblings of “hair metal”.  Problem was, none of the giant labels had a rap artist on their rosters and if they did, they had no idea what to do with them.  The labels needed time, problem was, rap and hip/hop didn’t need the labels, they took that punk rock DIY to the next level and ran their own labels. 

Those labels didn’t just look at the music, they looked at how music was being bought and sold; CD’s were the new Coke, the taste of a new generation; cassettes and vinyl were a thing of the past.  They stopped pressing vinyl, but just in case there were some carry overs, very limited pressing of this new music would get a limited run, but CDs not only sounded better, they were allowed a huge profit for the labels, way more so than vinyl.   This also helped the label’s war in manufacturing this new genre by showing not just new music, but a way to separate themselves from the past to the future.

Funny thing is, while grunge music was for the next generation, and the “hair metal” that was all look and no substance, was already in a similar pocket.  Bands like Nirvana, Soundgarden, Mudhoney, Tad, Screaming Trees, Mother Love Bone (my personal favorite), Melvins, Skin Yard, Blood Circus, Alice in Chains, Mother Love Bone, Mudhoney, Screaming Trees, Skin Yard, Smashing Pumpkins, Tad, Gruntruck, L7, and Babes in Toyland, mostly fit where “hair metal” was already headed.  So much so that a lot of those bands opened on tours with the “hair metal” circuit.  Those bands started appearing in the same magazines as the 80’s rockers they were supposed to overthrow. 

This “new” genre was only “new” because the label’s needed an angle to sell it and sell it they did; at least for a minute.  In comparison to “hair metal”, grunge was a 5-year blip on the radar, then came “nu-metal” etc., etc..

If the industry would have left well enough alone, all those bands could have survived. Perhaps that survival wouldn’t have dumped truckloads of money to the labels for that short period, but they would have continued to all produce profits, just not enough for the bottom line of label profit sheets. 

Look at any old fart’s music collection and you’ll find most have an extensive “rock” collection with a fair amount of music from all three eras.  The biggest difference would be is, the old fart like me, still continued to buy music from those dinosaur 80s bands and let me tell you, there is a lot of amazing music that got written off and lost.  Some of those “hair bands” releases that critics don’t or won’t speak of, put out some amazing music, with lyrics that weren’t dummied down for the sake of “nuthin’, but a good fucking time”. 

Poison’s “Native Tongue”; Ratt’s “Detonator”, “Ratt”, and “Infestation”; Cinderella’s “Heartbreak Station” and “Still Climbing”; Warrant’s “Dog Eat Dog”, “Ultraphobic” and “Belly to Belly”;  Skid Row’s “Subhuman Race” and “Thickskin”; Tesla’s “Psychotic Supper” and “Bust a Nut”…

Not all of them were “hair metal” in the sense that that term was actually used, but yet, they fell victim to the same death sentences.  Hell, if you ask AI or Google “hair metal” you’ll also find Van Halen and Scorpions under that piece of shit moniker.  Skid Row and Tesla that I referred to previously, not a “hair metal” hair on them, yet…there they are.

I would put every post-‘hair metal’ release I named up against any of the iconic releases from the ‘grunge’ generation.  I don’t even like using the term “grunge” because I think that undersells the true genius behind way too many of those bands, just like “hair metal”.  At least grunge doesn’t sound like a complete diss to the music or  the bands. 

And yes, as much as Bon Jovi and Def Leppard don’t want to be lumped into the “hair metal” bullshit, tough, they came up in the ranks, they used the same hairspray and Cover Girl as the next band from that generation.  They both got dinged up for coming out during the fashion of the day, they should just start defending the genre by spitting back that “hair metal” wasn’t a genre, they were all just ‘rock’ bands of the 80s. 

The only time I embrace the use of  the term “hair metal” is when I’m discussing music with a dumbass know-it-all critic, music snob and the times referenced is as a proverbial middle finger to them.  And no, I won’t take a swipe at the critics that think Kurt Cobain was a genius guitar god, I just smirk and say, “yeah, less is more I guess, huh?”

Thanks for wasting your time reading, when you could have been doing something better…

Your Pal,
Sweet Lou.